A Spyro Christmas Carol
by Panthergirl
Summary: Yeah, I know this parody's been done to death, but I couldn't resist. It's a Christmas classic like you've never seen it before!
1. Stave 1: Jarley's Ghost

(Well, it's Christmas once again, and I felt it would be appropriate to write a holiday-inspired fanfic! Aw, who am I kidding? We read "A Christmas Carol' in English and this was one of the assignments. The good news is that you won't have to wait forever to update because the whole parody is due on Wednesday! Happy holidays!)

It was Christmastime in Avalar. There was about a foot of snow on the ground, more in Winter Tundra, and decorations adorned walls and trees everywhere. It was difficult to go anyplace without hearing the melodies and verses of some jovial carol. Spyro hurried down the street. "Oh for cryin' out loud! I'm late!" He hurried through the streets of the city until he came to an alley. He slowed to a walk as he went through it, straight up to a door.

He pulled out a keychain, unlocked the door, and entered a room lit by one fluorescent light. The room held a threadbare couch, an old microwave and mini-fridge, and a small television set that only received three channels. This was the break room. Spyro hung his coat on one of the hooks near the door and put on an apron. He looked at the clock that hung upon the wall. "Only 7:01, maybe he won't notice." Spyro punched in his time card and went through the doorway on the far wall into the kitchen.

"Spyro, you're here!" said Elora. She wore an apron identical to his. "Hurry up and help me mix this, and pretend you've been here all this time." She pointed to a large bowl of pizza dough. The phone rang and Spyro listened as he heard Bianca answer it. "Pizza's Pizzeria, how may I help you?"

Spyro helped Elora hold the bowl as they positioned it under the mixer. "Man, I still don't know how we got suckered into this." he said. "Even if we're one minute late-"

"Late again, are we now, Spyro?"

(Don't tell me you didn't see this one coming!)

They looked up. It was their boss, Moneybags. Spyro groaned. How had he lethimself get sucked into this fanfic deal?"I checked your timecard, Spyro, and you were one minute late." he said. "You know I'll have to dock your salary accordingly."

Spyro resisted the urge to fry the fat bear with a well-aimed fireball. "Whatever." he muttered. Moneybags nodded and waddled into his office. Elora sighed. "He keeps getting worse, doesn't he?"

"Sure does." said Hunter as he joined them. The cheetah carried a bowl of pizza sauce. "Ever since our old boss, Macob Jarley, died it's been nothing but this kind of stuff since!"

"Not that he was much better." remarked Bianca, who had just gotten off the phone. "We need three large supremes, two Cokes and a Pepsi, and a side order of pasta." Spyro grabbed a hunk of dough and slammed it down on the table. "How did we get involved in this anyway?" he asked himself.

"Becauseseven summers ago we needed a part-time job so we could get enough money to go to the Bahamas." Elora answered. "And we've been stuck here ever since." The faun went to go turn the ovens on. "That's the last time I ever sign a contract without reading it first." Spyro thought. He rolled the dough into a flat disk, pushed it aside, and started work on another.

"Stupid seven to nine hours." Bianca griped as she spread the sauce over the flattened dough. "If that bear hadn't told all the other fast-food places to not hire us, we could've gotten another job by now!"

"Hey, at least he hasn't decided to make this a 24 hours a day joint!" Hunter said. Just then the intercom crackled to life. "Attention employees!" Moneybag's voice boomed, "Starting December 26, we will be open twenty-four hours a day!"

Bianca slapped Hunter on the back of the head, causing him to fall face-first in the pizza they had just made. "Way to go, genius!" she half-shouted. Elora pulled them apart. "Hey! Quit fighting, it's Christmas Eve! Besides, it's not his fault; Moneybags could just be spying on us."

They looked behind them to see a mini spy camera and tape recorder sticking out of the sink. As they looked at it, it quickly disappeared down the drain. "Still, it's a stupid idea." said Bianca. "What kind of idiotwants a pizza at three a.m.?"

(Meanwhile, in the underwater city of Bikini Bottom...)

Patrick was in his bedroom, asleep. Suddenly, his alarm rang. He sat up quickly and turned it off. "Oh boy! Three a.m.!" he pulled a pizza out from under his bed and started eating it.

(Back to the story...)

"I rest my case."

The pizzeria had slowly started to fill up with customers. Many of them kept their coats and jackets on because the place wasn't heated very well. "Will you turn up the thermostat already?" one customer complained to Moneybags. "I can still see my breath!"

"You have sweaters, wear them!" said the bear. "Heat costs too much these days!" It was amazing how they continued to do business, but then again the place was known for its pizza. At around noon, Hunter checked the clock. "Lunch!" he announced. They adjourned to the break room.

"Wonder what's on the tube." said Bianca as she switched on the old T.V. There was a Christmas special on, though the picture was snowy. The four managed to get seated on the couch while they ate lunch. The door swung open. "What is this?" demanded Moneybags, seeing his employees seated.

"Um, break?" said Elora.

"Well, make it quick! I'm not paying you to sit around!" snapped the bear.

"You barely pay us at all!"

Now, seeing as it's a break, I'll take a moment to fill you in. You see, seven Christmases ago, Moneybag's old partner, Macob Jarley, passed away. Moneybags kept up the business of running the pizzeria. Our heroes, Spyro, Hunter, Elora and Bianca, had applied for a summer job at the location, failed to read the contract, and unwittingly signed themselves up for a lifetime. They then decided to quit, but the bear had called up all the other restaurants and told them to not hire the foursome.

It is important for you to know that Moneybags was a greedy, scamming, covetous, fat bear. (duh) No one even remotely liked him. Not even a little bit. He was, to put it bluntly, a miser. How could a soul so corrupt, cold, and obese even be worthy of an entire story? Read on, and ye shall see.

By now, the all too short break was over, and it was time for work again. It was a quarter to one when the bell over the door rang. Enter Moneybag's brother's mother's sister's daughter's cousin's son, Frank.

"Uncle Moneybags! Merry Christmas" exclaimed Frank. He approached the counter gleefully. Spyro and Hunter quickly retreated into the kitchen, knowing what was sure to take place. Moneybags stepped out from behind the counter. "Christmas!" said the bear. "Bah! Humbug!" On the floor, a bug started humming.

"Stop that!" yelled Moneybags. The bug shrugged. "Well, you said 'Hum bug!" it said.

"It's an expression, now get lost."

The bug sniffed haughtily and walked away. Frank said to his uncle "Christmas a humbug? Pshaw! Surely you don't mean this?" he asked. The bear nodded. "Indeed I do. What reason have you to be merry?"

"Come now!" retorted Frank pleasantly. "What reason have you to be so dismal on a bright occasion as this?" His uncle walked to the window. "What's Christmastime but a time for fools to go traipsing all throughout the town or lazing around at their abode? A time for finding one's self a year older." he said in annoyance. "Why, if I had mine own way, every fool who went around with 'Merry Christmas' on his lips would be..."

"Uncle!"

"Hush! Now, what business brings you here?"

"I have come to invite you to dine with us, with myself and my family, tomorrow. Will you accept?"

"Nay." said Moneybags, turning sharply. "Now I bid you good afternoon!" He walked back behind the counter, his nephew following him. "What reason have you for declining, uncle?" he asked.

Meanwhile, the four employees were listening to the conversation from behind the kitchen door. "Why are they talking like that?" asked Bianca. "This is the twenty-first century, not 1843!"

Moneybags faced Frank. "I have already refused! Now, if you're not going to order something, I suggest you leave." he snapped. Frank sighed and exited. Moneybags swiftly opened the kitchen door. "Someone get some more pizza on the buffet! You lazy bums let it get almost empty like that one more time and I'll dock you pay even more!"

The door opened and two stout men entered. "Good afternoon, sir!" said one of them. "We're from the 'Helping Hands' foundation and we're taking up donations for the less fortunate, maybe even to get some of the poor off the streets." the other one held up a clipboard. "Care to donate?" he asked.

"Tell me, are there still prisons?"

"Oh, yes. Plenty of those."

"Union workhouses, what about them?"

"Yes."

"Then why do I need to donate? Just send the poor there."said the bear. The man lowered his clipboard slightly. "Why, because it is that time of year where everyone feels more compassion for their neighbors, and also a very giving time of year. All of the people we've talked to today have been more than willing to lend a helping hand! Wouldn't you like to make someone's Christmas a little jollier?"

"Humbug!"

The bug started humming again. "Will you shut up?!" demanded Moneybags. The bug stamped its foot. "Well, you keep telling me to hum!" The bear faced the two men again.

"Sir, I don't believe in handouts. Now good day!"

The two men left the building, knowing that they would fare better elsewhere. Moneybags retired to his office. Meanwhile in the kitchen, Elora was going through a filing cabinet. "Any luck finding our contracts?" asked Bianca. Elora pulled out a stack of papers. "Bingo! Let's rip these things..." she tried to tear the pages, but it refused to give. "That fiend!" she exclaimed. "He had them laminated!"

"Forget it." said Hunter. "It expires in another twelve years."

At about five minutes to nine, Moneybags stepped out of his office. "I suppose you guys will want tomorrow off?" Spyro nodded. "After all, tomorrow is Christmas Day." said the dragon.

"Humbug!"

"Hmmm hmmmm hmm hmmmm hhmmmm..."

"Shut up, you stupid bug!"

"Then quit saying hum bug!"

Spyro tapped the bear's shoulder. 'Well? Do we get Christmas off?"

"Very well then, but I expect the four of you to be here a full hour early the day after, and to stay an hour later." said the bear. He waited as his employees gathered their things and left, and then he himself locked up the place and went home. He walked through the almost empty streets, eyes turned downward. After several blocks, he came upon his house, which was an old manor, completely dark and devoid of any signs of life. He found his way to the door and began unlocking it.

As he did so he glanced at the knocker on the door and saw Jarley's face in it! Moneybags gasped. The image lasted barely a second, but it was enough to be shocking. The bear quickly opened the door and stepped inside. He headed up the stairs, checking each room of the empty house before retiring to his bedroom. Blowing out the candle, he quickly slipped into bed.

Suddenly, he heard bells ringing! There was a terrible sound of clanking chains, and Moneybags' blood ran cold. Something was coming up the stairs! Right through the door walked a ghost! "Scrooge! Scrooooge!" it said.

"Um, you're in the wrong house." said Moneybags. "The place you're looking for is three blocks down!"

"Oops! Thanks."

The ghost left the room. Moneybags settled down again. "Now, if there are no more interruptions…" he mumbled, rolling over. The chains started up again. Bells started ringing loudly. "What is it now?" grumbled the bear. Passing straight through the door was another ghost! "Look, do you need directions too? I'm trying to…" Moneybags trailed off as he realized that this apparition was none other than his former partner, Macob Jarley!

"Jarley! W-w-why aren't you dead?"

"Nice to see you, too." said the ghost. It walked closer to the bed, dragging with it the chain that was bound around his waist. This chain was made up with padlocks, pursed, cash registers, and an extra-large pepperoni pizza.

"What do you want?" asked Moneybags. "Why do you wear that chain?"

"This is the chain I forged in life. I made it and wore it of my own free will. Now I am bound to it forever, doomed to roam the earth, and the same shall happen to you!"

"No!"

"Yes! Unless you change your ways, and quit being such a stingy creep!"

"Hey!"

"It's true!" said the ghost. "Now, listen well. Tonight you will be visited by three spirits. Take their advice and pay attention to what they show you. Otherwise you will end up like me." Moneybags looked at the ghost of his former partner. He certainly didn't want to end up wandering the world for eternity, dragging along a heavy, iron chain. "Um, okay?"

"Good." said the ghost. He started out the door and down the stairs. "Oh, Jarley! Wait!" called Moneybags. He heard a trip, yelp, and the sound of thumping and chain rattling all the way down the stairs. "Watch out for that first step!" called Moneybags, a little too late.

The ghost disappeared, leaving Moneybags to go back to bed and await the first spirit.


	2. Stave 2: The First of the Three Spirits

(Well, here goes!)

Moneybags was dead asleep when the bell tolled midnight. The curtains on his bed ruffled in the breeze from an open window. He sat bolt upright when he realized that the window was closed. He shivered as the final chime of the clock died. Suddenly, there was light filling the room. Standing right in front of the window was the first Spirit.

It wore a long white robe, with a silver belt, and held a sprig of holly. It also looked suspiciously like Elora. "I an the ghost of Christmas Past." It said.

"L-long past?"

"Nope! Your past."

"Wait a minute! Aren't you Elora?" demanded the bear. The Spirit shook her head. "No. Weren't you listening to the introduction?" She opened the window. "Now come! We have much to see!"

Moneybags got up and went to the window. "How? Where?" he asked. The Spirit pointed out the window. "Oh, no!" protested Moneybags. "I'm not jumping out a third floor window! I'll fall!"

The faun grabbed him by the wrist. "No you won't! Just shut up and follow me!" She then stepped out of the window, dragging Moneybags along with her.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

THUD!!!

"I thought you said I wouldn't fall!" yelled Moneybags as he peeled himself off the ground. The Spirit looked away casually as she said "Well, maybe if you laid off the brownies…"

She grabbed his arm again and led him down the street. They were now in the town as it looked many years ago. "Why! It's my old hometown!" exclaimed the bear. "It's just like I remember it!"

"Duh, we're in the past. Now quit waving at people like an idiot, they can't see or hear us anyway."

They walked down the street for some time, Moneybags naming all the people as he went. The Spirit took a Tylenol and kept going. "Here we are!" she exclaimed at last. They were stopped in front of a large building. Moneybags just stood there dumbly. "Well, look in the window!" said the Spirit.

Moneybags wiped off the frost and pressed his face to the glass. "Ooo! This is where I used to work!" he stated. Inside the building, there was a younger Moneybags working behind the counter of a donut shop, about 250 pounds lighter. Alongside him was another young guy about his younger self's age.

"Here's your change, thank you for eating at Donut's Donuteria." Said the young Moneybags as the customer left. His friend, Dan, locked the door. "Well, we're done for the night!"

Their manager came out of his office. "Well done, boys! Now, clean everything up and clear the floor!" he instructed. The two young fellows hurried to do this. Meanwhile, the boss was on the phone with someone. By the time he ended his call, the two had finished cleaning up. Moneybags pressed a button on the wall and the ceiling opened up to allow a disco ball to slide down. Some of the other employees put some cassette tapes in the player (yep, it's that long ago) and started the music. Friends and family members came in through the back door for the party.

"Oh, I remember this." Said Moneybags, the one on the outside. "This was our company Christmas party! The one where I met….her."

The young Moneybags had approached a girl named Becky. A beautiful young bear, with long blonde hair in a ponytail, a womanly figure, and deep blue eyes. She wore a hot pink dress that night. Younger Moneybags whispered something in her ear and she giggled. Together they started dancing. Older Moneybags chuckled. "Oh, I was definitely in love then." he said. "I wonder whatever happened to our relationship."

"I can show you that." said the Spirit. The scene immediately changed. Now they were standing at the window of Pizza's Pizzeria. They saw Moneybags was sitting at the desk in his office, Becky in a chair opposite him, wearing pink again. He was busily going over the figures, while she sat quietly, yet fidgeting impatiently. "Oh, honey!" she said. "Let's go!"

"Just a minute." He said absent-mindedly

"You've been adding those figures for hours, and we're going to be late for the show." She protested, with a sad look on her face. "I thought you wanted to see it with me."

"Just a minute." He repeated.

"Moneybags! Please!" The woman pleaded, getting his attention. "This is Christmas, you promised us a romantic holiday and here you sit, concerned how much you're making!"

"Look, this is important. If I don't earn enough, then I can't take you out on these dates!" said the bear. "If you truly loved me, then you'll sit still while I finish."

"And if you truly loved me, then you would stop being so stubborn and take me out!"

"I'm sorry, but it just doesn't work that way." He said, going back to his work.

"Honey, when we first met at that party three years ago," she said slowly. "You promised me that if we could get married someday, we'd be the happiest couple alive. You said I'd not have to worry about anything, and that we'd have a big house in the country."

He nodded. "Yes, I did." She shifted in her chair and continued. "I know we're not married yet, because I don't have Father's consent, but you've still been so good to me. Why do you seem so willing to sacrifice that?"

"Because this is important, dear." He said. "This is the end of our first year in business. Jarley and I are very elated on how much of a success this has been. If we don't record this amount correctly, we could lose a lot."

"That doesn't make sense."

"Not to you."

Becky sighed. "How much longer?"

"Several hours."

"That's it, mister!" she said, standing up suddenly. "You make a choice and you make it right now! Which would you rather spend tonight with, me or your money?"

Moneybags started to answer, then hesitated. The hurt look was growing in Becky's eyes. Moneybags stepped forward. "Dear, I just want to make you happy." He said, as Becky's sorrow started to turn into happiness. He reached into his pocket. "And now," he said as he pulled out some bills. "Here's five bucks, enjoy the movie."

Becky gasped as her face fell. "Oh!" she exclaimed, tears in her eyes. She turned and ran out of the room, sobbing. Moneybags shrugged and went back to work. Meanwhile, outside there were two witnesses to the event. "That was when she was lost to you forever." said the Spirit. Moneybags sniffed. "I know. After she left, I started thinking about how I had struggled up the corporate ladder, and how ungrateful she was to try and interrupt my work." He confessed. "But now that I see it again, I wonder why I made that choice. Why did I hurt her like that?"

The Spirit patted him on the back. "It's all because you lost your lust for her when your lust for cash began. Moneybags turned to her. "Spirit!" he said. "Take me home, I don't want to see any more!"

"One more stop…."

They were at the same place, only now it was farther into the future, when four teenagers came into the place looking for a job. Moneybags watched as his past self handed them the applications. "Just sign here." He was saying. "And you'll be officially employed."

"Cool!" said Spyro. They started filling out the forms. "Hey Spyro?" asked Hunter.

"Yes?"

"What's all this stuff in really small letters?"

"That's just fine print. It doesn't mean anything."

They signed the forms. As they started work, Moneybags quickly laminated their applications. "Now, a little further on…" said the Spirit as they went ahead several months. "They find out about the fine print."

"Whaddya mean we can't quit?!" demanded Spyro. "We applied for a summer job!"

"Yes, but you signed a lifetime contract." said Moneybags. "You should've read the fine print."

They started yelling protests, but these died as the scene faded out. Now Moneybags and the Spirit were standing alone on the street. "Can I go home now?" he asked. The Spirit nodded. "Take my hands." She said, grabbing his hands. They started flying off back to Moneybags' home.

"Geeze!" panted the Spirit. "You need to lay off the brownies!" she exclaimed as they came in low. They finally landed in his bedroom. "Well, I'm outta here." said the Spirit. "Don't forget to wait up for the next two!" she said as she left. Moneybags went back to bed.

(Stay tuned, there's still more!)


	3. Stave 3: The Second of the Three Spirits

(Well, here's another chapter! Oh, and: Becky's name was a coincidence. An eerie kind of coincidence, but definitely a coincidence.)

Moneybags was fast asleep again, as the clock struck one. He jumped out of bed, determined not to let the Spirit catch him be surprise. He waited a minute, then ran out of his room. "I know this one's around here someplace!" he muttered. After a few minutes of waiting, he decided that the Spirit was not coming and went back into his room. There he saw that it had undergone a spectacular change.

The room was festive with big green garland strands hanging off all the walls and the bed. All over the place was lots and lots of pizza. Sitting in the middle of all this was the next Spirit. It wore a green robe, a wreath of garland on its head, and it also looked suspiciously like Spyro. "Spyro! Get out of my room!" yelled Moneybags. The Spirit gave him the "hello, Mr. Crazy" look. "Who's Spyro? I'm the Spirit of Christmas Present."

"And I suppose you're going to show me some stuff I need to pay attention to and learn from, right?"

"Yup."

"Let's don't and say we did?"

"Nope."

"Dang." said the bear. "Well, where are we going?" The Spirit took him by the hand. "We're going to take a look at what's going on around here. Hang on!" There was a brief pause, and then they were standing on the streets. People were going to visit their neighbors, or on their way to run errands. All about the scene was an aura of holiday cheer. "This way." said the Spirit, leading Moneybags down the street towards a run-down part of town. "Why are we coming here?" asked Moneybags.

"Some people you should know very well live down here."

"Oh really?"

"Take a look right here!"

They had stopped in front of a small house. The outside walls needed a new coat of paint, the yard was full of bare spots and weeds, and the porch looked ready to collapse. Moneybags wiped some frost off the window and peered inside. "Hey! These are my employees!" he exclaimed. "Shh." Said the Spirit. "Watch."

Inside the small house were Spyro, Hunter, Elora and Bianca. They were sitting in a room furnished only with a couch, a chair, a small fireplace, and a flickering television. In one corner stood a small Christmas tree, sparsely decorated. "So, who's turn is it to sleep on the couch tonight?" asked Hunter. Everyone pointed at everyone else.

"His."

"Hers"

"Yours"

Elora checked her watch and stood up. "I think dinner's ready." She said. She went into the kitchen and brought back five microwaveable pot pies. "Take one quick, they're hot!" she exclaimed. After her friends had taken a pie, she was left with two. "Don't start eating until everyone is served." She reminded. "At least not tonight."

"Yeah, where is Clumsy Clem anyway?"

"Behind you."

In the far corner of the room near the fireplace was Clem, completely covered in bandages with his arm and leg supported, lying on a hospital bed with many different machines around him beeping. "Here you go, Clem!" said Elora, setting the incredibly hot dish on his chest.

"Mmmfff!" said Clem, eyes bugging out.

"You're welcome."

They all pulled their chair and couch closer to Clem. "Well, here's to another Christmas." said Bianca. They raised their coke cans. "Here's an ice-cold coke for you, too Clem." Bianca said, putting it on him where the pie had been. Clem sighed with relief.

"We know it hurts, Clumsy Clem." said Hunter, setting his really hot dish on top of Clem, who groaned again. "You can't help it that you're naturally clumsy."

"Oh, remember when it happened?" asked Spyro. Elora nodded. "I remember like it was yesterday. Clem had finally gotten out of his last body cast and we took him to the circus to celebrate."

Bianca shook her head sadly. "I told him to be careful while looking at those tigers." she said. "And the piranhas, and the gator, and the fifty-seven rings of fire." she sighed. Hunter patted her on the back. "It's not his fault someone happened to drop seven banana peels right in his path." he said.

Clumsy Clem's heart monitor had started beeping more slowly. "He's asleep." whispered Spyro.

"He'll be asleep for much longer if he doesn't get that operation, or the therapy." said Elora. She picked up a dart and threw it at a lone dartboard hanging on the wall. Taped to it was a picture of Moneybags, with many little dart holes in it. "Stupid bear." she muttered.

"Yeah, if it wasn't for that asinine freak, we'd be much better off." Spyro said angrily, accidentally slapping Clem's arm. "Mnnnf! Mmmmmmff!" squealed Clem.

"Oh, Clem!" said Bianca. "You're handling this well. Always uncomplaining."

"Spirit." said Moneybags. "What will happen to Clumsy Clem?"

"I see an empty craftmatic bed in the corner."

"Does that mean Clumsy Clem will die?" Moneybags asked, concerned. Inside the room, they could see Hunter get up to go get dessert and accidentally stepped on the bed controls, catapulting Clem across the room.

"If the course of things remains unchanged, and Clem does not get the kidney he needs, of a spleen, or a liver, or an appendix, or tonsils, or the therapy, then yes, he will die."

"No!"

"Yes." said the Spirit. "Now follow me, we have more to see." He led Moneybags down the street again and through the town to the suburbs. They stopped again at an upper-middle class home, with many cars parked in front of it.

"Wow! A party!"

"Yes, it's your nephew's house."

They looked in the window at the scene before them. It was a large dining/living room. There was a large Christmas tree in the corner, and the small children were busily playing. There were many adults there, including Moneybags' nephew and his wife. "Hey everyone! Who wants to play twenty questions?" asked Frank.

"I do!" shouted everyone else enthusiastically. Frank smiled. "I'll go first. What am I?"

"Is it blue?" someone asked. Frank shook his head. "Is it green?" someone else asked. Frank shook his head. "Is it brown?" this time he nodded.

"Is it fuzzy?" a child asked

"Well, I guess you could say that."

"Is it something nice to hug?" one of the other kids asked. Frank started laughing. "No! If you were to hug this, you'd never live to tell the tale!"

This continued on for a while until Frank's wife spoke up. "I know! It's Moneybags!" she exclaimed. "You are correct!" said Frank. "C'mere!"

He pulled his wife close and gave her a kiss. The little kids made groaning noises. Moneybags huffed. "So, that's what they do, eh? Mock me?!"

"How does that make you feel?" asked the Spirit.

"How does that make me feel?!" exclaimed the bear. "Well, it makes me feel…it makes me feel….ah….a little depressed. Everyone inside the house had started on the buffet. "So no one really likes me?"

"What was your first clue?"

"What about my other business associates?"

"They all think you're a stingy old fool."

"They do?"

The Spirit nodded. " 'Fraid so."

Moneybags sat down on the porch. "So I have no true friends? Well, what do I care?" he asked himself. "I've got everything I need. Money, a business, a house, so what do I need with close personal friends?"

"I bet you'll need them a lot more than you think." said the Spirit. "You have yet to listen to us, and yet to alter you future."

"Future, bah!" snapped Moneybags. "What do I care about my future?"

"I think you'd care more about your future if you knew what will happen." said the Spirit disappearing, leaving Moneybags alone on the porch. A low, heavy fog rolled in. The bear stood up. "Spirit! Where are you?"

All around him he could see nothing, and then a dark figure loomed up out of the fog.

It was tall, and completely cloaked from head to foot in a black robe. No head was visible, just an empty, black hole where a face should have been. An unmistakable aura of doom hovered about it.


	4. Stave 4: The Last of the Spirits

The Phantom glided smoothly towards Moneybags. A chill went up his spine and his blood ran cold. "A-a-are you the g-ghost of Christmas yet to come?" he asked. The Phantom nodded slightly. "And are you here to show me what will happen if I don't change my ways?"

Again, it nodded.

"Why do you not speak? Why do you stare at me in cold, stony silence?"

The Spirit slowly raised an arm, pointing to something behind the bear. Moneybags turned and looked. They were no longer at his nephew's house, but in the heart of the city. The fog had cleared a good deal, and a group of men could be clearly seen.

Moneybags immediately recognized them as some of his business friends, talking about someone. "So, I hear Ol' Stingy has finally passed on, eh?"

"Yep. Shame though, we were about to finish a pretty sweet deal."

"Has he left his fortune to anyone?"

"No, the guy didn't even leave a Will."

"Too bad, government will probably get all of it. Should we attend the funeral?"

"Eh, he wasn't a close personal friend of mine. Unless anyone else is going?"

Excuses were promptly delivered. "I'm afraid I can't. Got to go to a very important meeting, you know."

"Neither can I. Business trip tomorrow and I've got to get packing."

"I promised some time to the wife and kids."

The men said their goodbyes and departed. Moneybags was about to say something when the Phantom pushed him forwards, down the street. "Where are we going?" he asked. The Spirit remained silent, pointing ahead of them. They walked along in silence.

Finally they reached a pawn shop and went inside. It was dark, run-down sort of place. A man stood behind the counter as two women walked in. "Hello, ladies!" greeted the man. "What do you have today?"

"Have you heard the news?" one of the women asked. The man nodded grimly. "Ah, yes. Poor fellow died now, didn't he?" The woman put the objects she was carrying on the table. Several candlesticks, some China plates, and a silver bell. The man wrote down some figures while examining the items. "I'm afraid that's all I can give you for these." he said, handing her some cash.

"I've got a few things too." said the other woman. She set down a set of sheets and pillowcases and bed curtains. The man calculated another figure and gave the woman some cash for those items. "It's sad the way he went, you know." said the man, referring to the dead person. "And on Christmas Eve, too!"

"Ah, yes." agreed the woman. "He could have been nicer, and had himself a couple of close friends. If he had done things differently, then he wouldn't have been in that big house, gasping out his last all alone in a cold, dark room."

"No one even shed a tear." said the other woman. "The only ones who cared were the looters."

"At least his fortune is going to good use." said the man, getting a laugh out of the women.

Moneybags felt the Spirit grab his shoulder and they were suddenly in a very dark room. After his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he looked around. The room was completely bare, save for a bed in the far corner. A square of moonlight fell upon it, revealing that it was bare of curtains and bedding, save for an obscure figure lying upon it. It was a body, wrapped in linen, with not a soul to cry over it.

The Phantom pointed, indicating that Moneybags should unwrap the linen over the body's head to see who it was. The bear reached out a shaky hand towards the head. The feeling of doom grew stronger and stronger, seemingly filling the room. The feeling grew so intense, it was almost suffocating him. He couldn't stand it, and pulled his hand back.

"Spirit." he said, trying to think of something else beside the body on the bed. "What happened to Clumsy Clem?"

The scene changed quickly. They were now walking through an old cemetery. The inexorable finger was still pointing to what Moneybags recognized as his four employees. "Gosh, I don't know whether to cry over Clem," said Elora, "Or have a party because our worst nightmare is gone."

Moneybags could see 'Clumsy Clem' written on the headstone they were standing by. The Spirit suddenly started pushing him forwards, towards the other end of the cemetery. It took them a long time, until they had finally reached the furthest corner. From here they still went on a good twenty yards where they could hear the conversation of two gravediggers.

"Smallest funeral I've ever seen! No mourners, no friends or family, heck there wasn't even a preacher!"

"Well there was one guest, his lawyer."

"But he was only there for some legal whatnot!"

"Duh! He's a lawyer!"

"Well, I'm beat. Let's take a break and grab some burgers. We'll fill it in later."

"Okay! He sure ain't going anywhere!"

The diggers laughed and walked away from the freshly dug grave. The Phantom pushed Moneybags towards it. "Now what?" he asked dumbly. The Spirit continued pointing, this time at the headstone, which was covered with a good layer of topsoil.

"You want me to read the headstone?"

The Spirit nodded. Moneybags reached over and brushed the dirt off. He uncovered the date, which was December 25. Then, he moved up and brushed off the dirt there, uncovering the name. He gasped as he read his own name, Moneybags!

"No! No! This can't be!" he cried. "Spirit, tell me these things can be changed. Please!"

The Spirit said nothing, but glided backwards until it disappeared. Moneybags stood there, at the edge of the grave. "Spirit, wait! Can my future be altered? Am I doomed to this fate? Spirit!" The ground suddenly crumbled beneath him, making him lose his balance and fall backwards into the dark abyss.

"Noooooooo!"

He cries were lost in the endless hole.


	5. Stave 5: The End of It

(Here we go! Last chapter! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!)

Moneybags hit the ground hard. "Yaaaahhhhhhh!!!!" he screamed. Then he looked around. He was back in his own room! The morning sun was peeking through his window, and there was snow falling lightly.

"I-I-I'm alive!" he exclaimed. "I'm alive! What day is it? How long have I been gone?" He ran to the open window and looked out. Skip the goat was walking down the street, whistling. "Hello!" shouted Moneybags across the distance between the sidewalk and his own house. (a long way) Skip looked around. "What?" she yelled back.

"HELLO!" shouted Moneybags again. Skip cocked her head. "Um, hi!"

"What day is it?"

"What?"

"What day is it?!"

"Which way is it?"

"WHAT DAY IS IT?"

"It's Christmas, you dumbbell!"

"Christmas! It's Christmas!" squealed the bear. "Merry Christmas!" he yelled to the goat.

"What?"

"Merry Christmas!"

"Hairy fishnuts?"

"No, Merry Christmas!!"

"Oh! You too."

"Hey, goat!" shouted Moneybags. "Do me a favor. Go to the store and buy me one of those really big turkeys." Skip looked at him in shock. "What are you, crazy? Those things cost like…"

"I'll pay you double when you get back."

"Yes sir!" shouted Skip as she ran off to the store. Moneybags could hardly wait for her to return. In the meantime, he got a shower (AAAA! Bad image! Bad image!), ate a quick breakfast, and called Frank. "Hello, Frank?" he asked as the phone was answered. "I'm just calling to tell you that I will come over after all."

"Wow! Really?" asked Frank.

"Yep! Can you hold the meal till noon?"

"Sure!"

"Well, I'll be there all right! Good-bye!" said the bear cheerfully as he hung up. About then the doorbell rang. Moneybags hurried to answer it. There was a big turkey at the door. "I got it!" shouted Skip. "That'll be $34.50"

Moneybags handed her the money. "Keep the change!" he said. "I've got some people to visit!" he grabbed the bird and ran to his car. Skip shrugged and ran off to be with her friends.

Meanwhile, at the house of certain overworked, underpaid employees….

"Guys! Clem's walking again!" shouted Hunter. The three others hurried into the room. Clem was standing under the window by the door, slowly making his way along the wall. "Oh! How neat!" Exclaimed Elora. "Lemme get the camera!"

Suddenly, the door burst open, slamming Clem up against the wall. One arm stuck out from behind the door and twitched. Moneybags stood in the open doorway.

"Dude." said Spyro. "The restraining order says you're not supposed to come within fifty yards of our house!"

"Forget the restraining order." said Moneybags, in as gruff a tone as he could manage. "I've had it terminated." five groans were heard in the room. "Now, now, cut that out!" said the bear, stepping over the threshold. "I've got a very important announcement to make."

"Did you set the work clock back again?"

"NO! I've been thinking, and I believe it's time I gave you guys…..a raise!" he squealed. "And this turkey!" He shoved the big bird into their arms. They looked at it, speechless. Clumsy Clem managed to peel himself off the wall. "Um, what's going on?" asked Bianca as they all exchanged 'Has he had too much to drink?' looks. "Are we on Candid Camera?"

"Not at all!" said Moneybags. "I've changed for the better! From now on, things are going to be a lot easier for you guys over at the pizzeria."

"Actually, we'd be satisfied if you tore up our contracts and told the other restaurants to hire us."

"That'll work too!" said Moneybags, pulling out their contracts and tearing them up.

"YAY!" they all said, running over to him and trampling Clem in the process. It was one big group hug. Clem sat up, pulled some of the bandages off his face, and said "God bless us, every one!" Then a 400 pound safe landed on him.

"CUT!" yelled Panthergirl. Spyro, Hunter, Elora, and Bianca immediately let go of Moneybags. "Ugh!" shuddered Spyro. "I feel like I need to go scrub myself!"

"Me too." Elora agreed as they walked off the set. Panthergirl opened up the safe, allowing Clem to fall out. "You okay, dude?"

He gave her thumbs up. Panthergirl looked up. "Okay! Who's in charge of props?" Sabina raised her hand. "Okay, Sabina, what did I tell you about pushing a joke too far?"

"Ummm….."

"Forget it, it'll have to do. Okay people! That's a wrap! Let's get this footage edited and posted."

Stagehands came in and started cleaning up the set while the rest of the cast stepped off of it and into the studio. "Hey Panther." said Hunter. "Why couldn't we have just beat the bear up?" Panthergirl rolled her eyes while writing on her clipboard. "Because this is a classic Christmas story, and I wanted to make a good parody of it."

"But we had to hug that-"

"Do you want me to write you out of every fanfic I write from now on?"

"Okay, but next year we're doing "The Grinch".

"Fine with me." said Panthergirl as Hunter walked off. "Oh, and Moneybags!" she yelled. "Stop charging people for the free donuts!" Moneybags sulked as the costume cart was pushed by. "When do we get paid?" asked Elora.

"This is a volunteer operation. You should have read the fine print." Panthergirl handed her some clubs. "Go whack Moneybags if you need to get rid of any frustration. Elora grinned. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it." Elora went off and started whacking the bear, while several people joined in. Panthergirl was on her way to editing when she noticed that a camera was still on. "Hey, who left this camera on?! Quit filming! The show's over!" she covered up the lens with her hand.

Static.

"Oh, and Merry Christmas, everyone!"

Static.

(Well, I'm done! That bit at the end right there was just an impulse maneuver because I though the way I was ending the actual story was too weird. Plus I though it explains nicely why a lot of the character were out of character. I'm only going to say a few words to tie up loose ends and then I'm done.

If you wondering, the Spirit of Christmas future was played by Hunter and Bianca.

Clumsy Clem DID get his operation and he didn't die. Which is good news, cause I still need him to play humorous cameos.

Spyro, Hunter, Elora, and Bianca quit working for Moneybags and found a better job.

Macob Jarley was still dead.

Moneybags was freed from his fate of being shackled for eternity. (Sorry. He's still got a contract. And a lawyer.)

Moneybags joined his nephew for Christmas dinner and had a little too much eggnog.

I fired the costume department because they kept trying to steal the outfits.

That's it! Merry Christmas everyone! Oh, and no flames about the ending, please. You know how the story goes. )


End file.
